Jim Rohn said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Whether you believe in this theory or not, research strongly supports that the people you surround yourself with have a strong impact on your mental health.
Can you think of people in your life who constantly complain, consistently point out the negative, always have a problem with something, can't take responsibility for their actions, and tear other people down? I think we all deal with these people and forget about it — once they are in a group together the negativity is like a dark cloud! The people and physical things you surround yourself with have a profound impact on your mental health. Who you spend your time with is like an emotional mirror influencing self-esteem, stress, and habits. And while we may not have full control over who we spend all our time with, it's important to be aware of the impact. Here are some tips on how to attract and keep quality people in your life:
Be aware of your values: A great way to guide decision making throughout your life is to be aware of what your values are. Take time to reflect on what is important to you. Once you are aware of what's most important, you can ask yourself, do these people bring me closer or farther from what I value in life.
Audit your circle: Do the people you associate with the most lift you up or drain your energy? You might not realize how many people in your life take you further from your goals and drain you. Emotions are often contagious, and you could catch more negative feelings than you think. Keep in mind that we aren't looking for toxic positivity either; everyone goes through tough times in life — we are looking more for an average here.
Set boundaries: Some people are easier to limit your exposure to than others. Protect your energy by removing or limiting time with toxic individuals in your life. It's okay to set your social circle standard high — this is your mental health we are talking about!
Go where your interests are: Engage in hobbies and activities where you can meet people with similar goals and values. You may need to go outside your circle to rebuild your circle.
Social mirroring: Be the type of person you'd like to attract. Radiating good energy generally draws in good energy. This is the social ripple you want to start!
Show gratitude to yourself and others: If you want to keep good people in your life, treat them with the kindness and respect you want for yourself. People learn how to treat you based on what you tolerate.
Attracting and keeping quality people in your life doesn't mean perfection on both sides. If this were the case, nothing could meet this expectation. The goal is to acknowledge the impact that the people you surround yourself with have on your mental health and see if there is room for improvement. Protecting your peace and creating a space to support your peace are vital. At A Little Counseling, we help individuals explore their values, learn how to set boundaries, increase awareness of relationships, learn to lean into the fear of stepping outside your comfort zone, think about how your space impacts your mindset, and develop a support system that enhances your life. It's never too late to surround yourself with the people and things that bring you closer to your values and goals! You can do this, let's get the ripple started. 😊
