“The avoidance of pain is the avoidance of life.”
How often do you avoid uncomfortable feelings and the things that make you anxious in life? Avoidance is a common tool that people use to cope with things they are fearful of. While it provides immediate relief in the present, it will never serve you in the future. The problem here is not the avoidance itself, but rather the belief that you can’t do the things that make you uncomfortable and anxious. If this is you, it’s time to rewire this thinking.
It's common for individuals to enter counseling with the goal of getting some coping skills for when they feel certain emotions and to stop their anxiety in the long run. If only it were that simple! To reframe, the goal is to allow yourself to feel all the feelings, accept anxiety as it comes and goes, and develop the skills to respond to it while doing the things you value. This is possible and addresses the problem from the root rather than just pulling leaves that continue to grow back.
We need to start telling ourselves and our children that “we can do hard things” and lean into discomfort as an opportunity to grow. Avoidance often starts with one thing, and years later, you find yourself missing out on all the things you value in life. Don’t let your fear of discomfort reduce the quality of your life. Claiming your life back from avoidance is hard, uncomfortable, and scary, but YOU CAN DO IT. If you need support in this process, counseling is a great way to rewire the way you think and learn from a trained professional how to work towards leaning into discomfort. Remember, we’re going for the long-term gains—the place where you find happiness with uncomfortable emotions and some level of anxiety included! “What if the change you’re avoiding is the one that gives you wings?”
