The human mind is capable of so many great things, yet when we tell it that something is not dangerous or that it’s fine, the anxiety often doesn’t back down. This means that no matter how often you think positive thoughts or try to rationalize your way out of an anxious thought, you often end up right back where you started. According to the deconstructing anxiety model, we begin our lives in a state of wholeness and fulfillment. But at some point, during our childhood we experience danger, and a core fear is born from it. A core fear is an interpretation of life as dangerous which leads to the development of a “chief defense” which is a person’s primary strategy for protecting oneself from danger.

Being abandoned or rejected, being unlovable, not knowing oneself, being responsible to harm others, being a “bad” person, death, shame, failure, loneliness, embarrassment, or fear of a negative evaluation are just a few examples of core fears. It’s basically the emotional suffering that is associated with the fear. Once a core fear has developed, the chief defense begins working to try and eliminate dangerous situations that may expose the core fear, which leads to unhappiness and a less fulfilling life. Uncovering your core fears is an important step towards getting anxiety at its root. It’s like self-awareness, once you are aware, change can begin.

Here are some ways to identify your core fears:

Digging for gold method: In the deconstructing anxiety model, the method of “digging for gold” includes asking yourself the following questions to uncover your fear. 1. Why is that upsetting to you? 2. What are you afraid will happen next? 3. What are you afraid you will miss or lose?

Downward arrow technique: This is a cognitive behavioral strategy used to identify and explore underlying assumptions and belief systems.

Individual downward arrow questions: If my fear was true, why would this be upsetting to me? What would it reveal about me?

Interpersonal downward arrow questions: If my fear was true, what would it tell me about my relationship with this person? What would it reveal about us?

What if technique: What if this were true?

Make a list: Make a list of all the places and things you avoid and look for the common fear.

Identify your emotions behind fears: Look at your emotions that are behind the fears. For example, does being judged by other people or getting something wrong bring on feelings of shame?

Talk to a therapist: Identifying your core fears can take time and is difficult for some people to do on their own. A therapist can help guide you to uncover your core fears and come up with a plan to lean into them.

Core fears can show up in many anxiety disorders, for example generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and are a central component of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Identifying your core fears holds great value in the treatment of anxiety. Understanding and gaining insight into yourself, feeling more in control to work towards a solution, decreasing avoidance, and feeling more fulfilled are some of the benefits of knowing your core fears.

If you feel ready to uncover your core fears, we would love to help you at A Little Counseling and A Little OCD Treatment Center. Knowing the fears is just the start, we aim to help you develop a plan to take down the “chief defense” and live a life where you don’t have to fear every path that could potentially lead to that feeling you had in childhood that changed it all. Call us and begin living a life where you may or may not be abandoned, rejected, unlovable, not know yourself, be responsible for harm, be a “bad” person, die, feel shame, lonely, embarrassed, or be negatively evaluated by others! Sound scary? Maybe, but scary is survivable -- YOU GOT THIS! 😊

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours!”