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People Pleaser

  • People Pleaser

Recently I came across a quote by Jennifer Aniston that said, “If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to stop trying to please everyone. All you can do is be yourself and whoever likes you, likes you and who doesn’t like you, doesn’t. Live your life to the fullest and take chances. Don’t let the bullies get to you. Be strong. Just stay true to who you are.” Prior to opening “A Little Counseling,” I was given similar advice and found it to be very helpful. The truth is that no matter who you are or what you do in life there are always going to be those few people who don’t like you and that’s okay! It is nearly as impossible to please everybody as it is to be perfect -- all non-existent.

Many people who suffer from anxiety are also “people pleasers.” People pleasers find it difficult to say “no” and often sacrifice themselves to obtain praise and approval from others. People pleasers find praise and approval to be satisfying and sometimes addictive. There is a deep motivation to feel accepted and worthy. The problem with being a “people pleaser” is that somewhere along the way you lose yourself, respect, self-respect and set yourself up to be taken advantage of. Saying “yes” to everything is completely unsustainable. If you can relate, it’s likely time start rebuilding your boundaries with people and work on your self-esteem. It you need help, counseling is always an option. Don’t let your fear of how others will perceive you stop you from growing as a person. YOU are important and matter just as much as anybody else. If you help yourself now, maybe you won’t have look back and feel regret like Jennifer Aniston did!

I've asked several “real” people from ages 33-67 what advice they would give their younger selves and here is what they had to say:

  • “If you care too much about what other people think about you or what you are doing, you will miss out on truly living life.”
  • “If you want to be understood then you have to give others understanding too.”
  • “Listen to understand and then speak to be understood.”
  • “Take the time to think things through, and understand all the potential outcomes of your actions. Don’t get too hung up on the things you have no control over. Enjoy being young, and the opportunities that lack of commitments allow for. And lastly, think of yourself.”
  • “Always value your friendships and stay true to yourself.”
  • “Be direct and open whenever possible.”
  • “Have fun, work hard, and continue to be passionate about your interests.”
  • “Speak kind words and you will hear kind words echo.”
  • “Just because you are popular doesn’t mean you are kind.”
  • “It’s okay to not to like everybody and it’s okay for them to not like you.”
  • “Stop worrying so much and live in the moment.”
  • “Don’t believe you are not worthy of your dreams.”
  • “Pay attention to the people you love most.”
  • “Be who you are, good and bad.”
  • “Own your flaws.”
  • “Do what you love most.”
  • “Don’t take any Sh** from anybody.”
  • “Bad times aren't that bad in retrospect.”

Organizations & Memberships

Our Affiliations

We are devoted to bettering our company so we've established affiliations with industry partners. These organizations elevate our services by keeping us informed of new regulations and breakthroughs in our field.

American Counseling Association
Association for Child and Adolescent Counseling
North Carolina Board of Licensed Professional Counselors
Psychology Today - Verified Member

Let's Break the Stigma, We All Have Issues

Everyone Can Benefit from “A Little Counseling”